I got nothin' so I'll exploit the family a bit.
Overheard at the homestead this week:
Mr. Tanager: "I got five or six years on that guy, I'll whip his ass. Who cares if his kid looks like he's in the fourth grade, he's still a crybaby!!"
Little Scarlet: (pondering one morning three weeks after the world's strongest man appeared on Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?)
"How do they know he's the strongest?"
Me: "They have a contest and all the strong people compete against each other lifting all kinds of heavy stuff."
Little Scarlet: "Why didn't Daddy go?"
Me: "He was busy that day."
Little Scarlet: "I did it. I punched _ _ _ _ _ right in the gut, just like Daddy said to."
Me: "Why on earth did you do that?"
Little Scarlet: He said, "Your mom is fat and ugly."
Me: "Oh, okay then. Good job."
Little T picking who is 'it': "Inky binky bonky, Dadddy had a...hey Mom, what's the mommy one again?"
Me: "My mother and your mother were out hanging clothes, my mother punched your mother right in the nose, what color was the blood?"
Little T: "Yeah, that's the one!"
MIL: "Oh my God, it has ears like a rabbit!"
Mr. Tanager: "It is a rabbit, Mom."